Tim and the Sea
by Paragon Dragon
Summary: The sea has always helped Tim to clear his head.


He took a deep breath of the salty air and listened to the soothing sound of the waves as he looked out at the darkening horizon. The setting sun warmed his back and made glistening light dance across the surface of the sea. Gulls cried overhead and he saw their dark shapes soar into view once in a while.

He sighed heavily and a content smile played at the corners of his mouth. He let go of all the raging emotions the last case had filled him with and replaced them with calm and serenity. It was only the sea that let him do so. This was the only place where he felt like he could let go of all his fears, knowing that the sea would store them for him until he felt ready to face them again. If Tony knew he would be teased about it until the end of his days, so he kept it a secret. He liked Tony, he really did, but some things he needed to keep for himself.

Tim closed his eyes and cleared his mind of thoughts, completely focusing on the sound of the crushing waves. He dug his toes further down into the still warm sand just let go. Of himself. Of the world. Everything.

He came back to reality when he felt another person's presence beside him. He felt the familiar smell of sawdust mixed whit coffee before he opened his eyes. Without looking he knew that his boss was sitting next to him. Tim took a deep breath and thought of something to say, but then he felt that he really didn't need to, so he let it be.

He pulled his knees up to his chest and put his arm around them. This was a bit strange really, just sitting there with Gibbs. This was actually the first time he had been alone with the silver haired man off work. In this moment they weren't boss and subordinate. They were just simply two men sitting on the beach together, watching the sky become darker and darker as stars began to sprinkle it.

"Do you come here often, McGee?" Gibbs asked after almost half an hour of silence had passed between them. Tim couldn't help but smile at the implication of those words.

"Once in a while", he answered and began to fiddle with the sand under his hands. "It's so quiet out here. It helps me clear my mind."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. Me too."

"Boss, do you think that Alec will be able to find a new home?" Tim asked then, referring to the abruptly orphaned little boy they had rescued.

"Yeah, I do. He was a sweet kid. It will be easy for him to find someone who'll love him and make him a part of their family. Why?"

"No reason. Just wondering."

"He affected you, didn't he?"

Tim nodded and stared down at the sand, a tear falling down his cheek. He wiped it away quickly but he knew that Gibbs had noticed anyway. Nothing seemed to escape the ex-marine.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, McGee."

"I know, Boss, it's just..."

"Just what?"

"I think it's just so damn unfair that he lost everything before he even had turned four years old."

"He didn't lose everything. He's still alive. He has his whole life ahead of him and soon he will have a family again. Stop worrying about it."

"I'll try, Boss."

"Don't try, McGee. Just stop."

"Yes, Boss."

Silence fell between them once more, but it wasn't the awkward kind. There just were no need for words. Tim stretched out on his back and looked up at the stars. There were so many of them. They covered the entire sky and bathe the world in their silver light. A pale moon began to rise and painted a street of light on the water, all way to the shore. Tim smiled. Everything was so beautiful that it was hard do comprehend.

"Boss?"

"Hm?"

"Why did you return from Mexico?"

Tim could've bit his tongue off. He hadn't meant to say those words, they just came before he was able to stop them. He half expected a head slap from Gibbs for his rudeness, but no-one came. He glanced at Gibbs and saw his boss looking thoughtfully out in the distance. He was actually thinking of an answer! Tim bit his lip, not sure if he wanted an answer, but it was too late for that now.

Gibbs took a deep breath, held it for a second and then let it out before looking at Tim.

"Sometimes I don't know, Tim", he said gravely. "Sometimes I just want to leave again, for good this time, but I really love this job. I realized that even before you called me back. And I consider you all as my family. You and Tony are the sons I never had, and I am proud of you both. I want you to know that."

Tim didn't know what to say. Gibbs saw him as a son? That was just... wow. He opened his mouth to him, but closed it again when Gibbs continued.

"Running away doesn't solve any problems, Tim", he said. "I realized that too down there. The reason I left was because I was haunted by memories from my past, memories so painful that I didn't want to confront them again. But you can't outrun something that's in your head. Someday it will catch up, and then you just have to confront it anyway."

"Or go mad..." Tim filled in with a low voice.

"Or go mad", Gibbs agreed. "When i decided to stay I had come in terms with my past again. I even regret that I don't remember as much as I want to. And I just couldn't abandon you again. I felt that you needed me."

"We did need you, Boss. Tony was a great leader for the team, but he wasn't you."

For that Tim earned a head slap. A hard one.

"Never compare me to someone else", Gibbs growled. "Not even Tony. He deserves more than that."

"I know, Boss. I'm sorry."

Gibbs head slapped him again.

"Don't apologize either."

"No, Boss."

They sat in silence for a few moments more, both men deep in their own thoughts. Then Gibbs put a hand on Tim's shoulder and squeezed it gently.

"Come on", he said and stood up. "Let's go get something to eat."

Tim got to his feet, brushed the sand off his pants and picked up his shoes before following Gibbs across the beach. The walked side by side, talking about anything that came to their minds, or not talking at all. At one point, Tim stopped and looked up at the sky. Then he looked at Gibbs with a somewhat sheepish smile and asked:

"Boss, do you think someone is watching over us?"

Gibbs chuckled heartily and put an arm around Tim shoulders, gently pulling him along.

"I know there is", he said. "I know there is..."


End file.
